STEP ASIDE, BLACK LICORICE. I’M GIVING AWAY WATERMELONS ON HALLOWEEN!


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I always promised myself that if I ever gave out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween, ours would be that “cool house” on the block that gave away the full-sized candy bars instead of the not-so-fun fun-sized treats.

That chance has finally arrived. This year, I’m nursing a sprained ankle, which means I won’t be able to make the trek around our neighborhood with our four-year-old while she fills more than one plastic pumpkin with candy and treats. That responsibility lies with my wife, which means I’ll be at home passing out goodies to the ghosts, witches and princesses who knock on our door.

As I was shopping for the perfect combination of full-sized candy bars to fit the $50 budget assigned by my wife, I wandered into the produce aisle (which is oddly only one aisle removed from the candy aisle), and I had an epiphany: What if, instead of candy bars, I gave away mini watermelons instead?

Am I really going to give away watermelons on Halloween? Maybe. In my head, the mini watermelons weren’t quite as large as the ones in my shopping basket in the photo above. I’m not saying the idea has been officially called off, but I need more time to consider the pros and cons.

Is it silly? Yes. Will the mini watermelons be a little heavy and perhaps even tear a hole in the bottom of some treat bags? Maybe. But watermelon is also a much better treat than candy, so the parents will probably appreciate my generous offer.

Of course, they’re also a little more expensive than full-sized candy bars, which means I was only able to purchase about 15 of them. That’s okay, though. When they’re gone, I can just turn off the porch light and wait patiently for our little trick-or-treater to come home so I can call dibs on her peanut butter cups.

UP NEXT: The watermelon team at the Marine Corps Marathon


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