Last month, I chose one of the carvings featured on the National Watermelon Promotion Board’s website and tackled it myself. The result was something resembling a football helmet. Considering the extent of my watermelon carving experience though, it wasn’t a bad effort.

It was fun, so I’m going to try to carve a different National Watermelon Promotion Board item each month and post photos of my work here on the blog. I can’t always promise that my artistry will be pretty, but that’s okay, right? Today’s carving actually turned out pretty well. It’s a watermelon hedgehog. I named him Kyle.

MATERIALS NEEDED

1 medium-large round seedless watermelon
Blueberries
Cutting Board
Large kitchen and paring knives
Green dry erase marker
Toothpicks
Large bowl and spoon

Wash the watermelon under cool running water and pat dry. Turning the watermelon on its side, cut ¼” off the light yellow ground spot on the bottom so that it will provide a flat foundation. Be careful not to cut too deeply into the white part of the rind – this would allow liquid to leak from the bottom of the carving. Place the watermelon so that its stem will be the nose.

Cut off the top of the watermelon as shown above (draw a cut line with the dry erase marker). Remove this whole portion and place to the side. Using a large spoon, scoop the fruit out of the removed section and from the base. Chop this fruit into small cubes, drain and set aside.

Use a small paring knife to make many small cuts to the edges of the head and body, as shown in the photo. These cuts should be short, small, irregular, angled, and curved – almost resembling flames from a fire. These small, irregular cuts create the look of the hedgehog’s coarse coat.

Using the removed rind, cut a small triangle to make the nose (upper right of photo above). To attach the nose, place toothpicks just above the stem spot on both sides and slide the base of the nose over the other end of the toothpicks, rind end down. (You may need to secure with an additional toothpick.) Put a toothpick in the tip of the nose and place a blueberry on the end.

Using the rest of the removed rind, cut four rectangles of equal size for the feet (bottom of photo above). Trim the backs of the rectangles thinner than the front, and then make two cuts on the front of each piece to create a slightly pointed paw shape. Attach with toothpicks, rind-end down, to the bottom edges of the hedgehog as shown.

To make the ears (upper left of photo above), draw two curved triangles that come to a point where desired along the edges of the face area. Carefully cut with the paring knife. Using your finger, gently push on the cut shape from the inside until it’s only slightly protruding, being careful not to crack or break the rind. This part was tricky because I didn’t want to push too hard, because I was afraid the ears would break off. I used a toothpick wedged inside, behind the ear, to keep the ears sticking out slightly.

For the eyes, simply place two toothpicks a bit above the nose and put a blueberry on each end. I forgot to buy blueberries, so I used pieces of banana.

Finally, fill the hollow space in the hedgehog with the watermelon cubes. Place toothpicks in the cubes at the top to create the hedgehog’s coat.

Spring arrived last week, at least according to the calendar and the weather guy on my local news, but I don’t really consider it spring until a bin full of watermelon shows up in the produce aisle of my grocery store.

I snapped the photo above on Saturday. When I spotted it, my face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and I let out a loud “Whoa!”, which probably startled the little old lady standing next to me at the green pepper display.

Depending on where you live, a watermelon bin might be old news, but living in the northeast United States, it was a thing of beauty after an otherwise boring and dreary winter. Has anyone else seen watermelon bins in their local grocery store? If so, where are you from and when did they arrive?

Spring has indeed sprung, so I’ve decided to repost this entry. Enjoy!

I’ll shed no tears over the passing of the winter. Nope. Not a single one. That’s because anyone who knows me knows that I’m a warm weather person. I enjoy getting outdoors (without having to wear eight layers of clothes), I enjoy baseball (not played as a video game in December), and I enjoy watermelon (which I can indulge in year round, but particularly enjoy this time of year and into the summer).

Of course, it’s always spring and summer in Hollywood, even in the middle of January. A friend who knows about my love of watermelon, passed along a story about a non-alcoholic watermelon mojito served up at Hollywood sushi hotspot, Katsuya. That’s a shot of the drink on the right.

I checked out Katsuya’s website and found the recipe for this tasty beverage, which I’ve included below as seen on their beverage menu.  The “13” indicates the price – as in dollars.

In case you’re curious, the cost of dinner at a trendy Hollywood hot spot like Katsuya isn’t as much as you might think. A bowl of Miso soup (you’ve gotta have Miso soup with your sushi) is only four bucks, and a nicely sized sushi sampler (say that three times fast) will run you $30. If sushi isn’t your thing, you can chow down on some chicken teriyaki for about half that price. Whether or not you’ll find a seat or be able to get reservations is another matter altogether.

Gallagher built his comedy career on smashing watermelons to smithereens onstage with his trademark wooden mallet. Even though he destroyed more watermelons than I care to imagine, he also did a lot to spread the word about watermelon, which is why I don’t hold any grudges.

The comedian was hospitalized last week after suffering from a heart attack before a scheduled appearance in Dallas. He was placed in a medically induced coma, but was taken out of the coma yesterday and is said to be cracking jokes and recovering nicely.

That’s good news for comedy fans and, believe it or not, it’s also good news for watermelon lovers (sitting in the front row at one of his shows will get you a free sample!). Hopefully he’ll be back on stage soon, and smashing watermelons with the same vigor that made him a comedy legend. Get well soon, Gallagher! Until then, I’ll eat an extra slice of watermelon for you. Just don’t ask me to smash it with a sledgehammer, because I won’t do it.

The rind. Often overlooked, rarely eaten. It’s a shame, too, because rind can be pretty tasty (and, little known fact: It packs the most nutrients of any part of the watermelon).

I’ve posted recipes in the past for watermelon rind pickles, but today’s how-to is for watermelon rind relish. The shredded rind used in the recipe is the inner white part of the rind, not the outer green part (that’s the skin).

As for what to do with this relish after you make it, you can put it on crackers – I think. My relish experience is limited to hot dogs and the occasional hamburger, so if anyone has any ideas about what pairs best with relish, please leave a comment!

WATERMELON RIND RELISH

INGREDIENTS

• 3 quarts water
• 6 cups shredded watermelon rind
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons dry mustard
• 2 teaspoons ground turmeric
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seed

DIRECTIONS

Bring 3 quarts water to a boil in a large saucepan. Add rind; cook 3 minutes. Drain well.

Combine sugar and remaining ingredients in pan; bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 2 minutes. Stir in watermelon rind; simmer, uncovered, 30 minutes or until most of liquid is absorbed, stirring frequently. Cool; pour relish into airtight containers.

Refrigerate Watermelon Rind Relish in airtight containers for up to two months.

Remember the picture of that freaky watermelon-headed woman I posted back around Halloween? This image isn’t quite as creepy, but I bet this guy and that woman would make a good couple.

The subject in the above photo uses his head as a canvas to paint all sorts of things. You can get a better look at his work on Flickr. My favorites are the hot dog and the cob of corn, but you’ll have to check out his best pieces to truly appreciate his talent.

Like most proverbs, this quote has a deeper meaning. My guess is that it’s supposed to be a lesson in not biting off more than you can chew. Like carrying two watermelons under one arm. It sounds like a simple task, but you might end up dropping a watermelon, and then you’ve got a split watermelon lying on the sidewalk. That’s no fun.

I made a pit stop in the produce aisle to test this proverb and I am happy to report that two watermelons can be held under one arm. In fact, I was able to fit three watermelons under one arm and do a lap around the cantaloupe display without dropping a single one. (I would have posted a picture here, but my wife refused to participate in my shenanigans.)

Granted, they were the small, personal-sized watermelons, but still. Watermelon Guy 1, Turkish proverbs 0.

If there’s one food I eat more often than watermelon, it’s ice cream. At any given time, there’s at least three half-gallon containers in my freezer. And even though sherbet is technically not ice cream (it’s got less milk fat), I was still pretty psyched when I found this recipe for watermelon sherbet.

It’s not that hard to make, either. As for how to pronounce it – “sher-bet” or “sher-bert” – I’ll leave that up to you.

WATERMELON SHERBET

INGREDIENTS

• 4 cups diced seedless watermelon
• 1 cup white sugar
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 dash salt
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1 (.25 ounce) envelope unflavored gelatin
• 1 cup chilled heavy cream

DIRECTIONS

Combine the watermelon, sugar, lemon juice, and salt in a large mixing bowl; stir to coat evenly. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Blend the mixture in a blender until smooth; return to the bowl.

Pour the cold water into a saucepan. Sprinkle the gelatin over the cold water; let stand one minute. Place the saucepan over low heat; cook for 2 minutes. Stir the gelatin mixture into the blended watermelon mixture. Add the heavy cream; beat with an electric hand mixer at medium speed until the mixture is fluffy.

Transfer the mixture into an ice cream maker and freeze according to manufacturer’s directions until it reaches “soft-serve” consistency. Transfer sherbet to a one- or two-quart lidded plastic container; cover surface with plastic wrap and seal. For best results, sherbet should ripen in the freezer for at least 2 hours or overnight.

If you search for “how to cut up a watermelon” on YouTube, you’ll get more than 1,500 results. I watched about 30 of those results in my hunt for the best watermelon-cutting lesson, and although I’ll never get that hour of my life back, the effort was well worth it.

It allowed me to find what I think is the best “how to cut up a watermelon” video on YouTube. It’s not perfect, mind you – some videos contained valuable mini-lessons that this one doesn’t – but it gets the main points across in a clear and concise manner. Before you watch it, allow me to outline five reasons why I like the video:

1. The watermelon is cut on an outdoor grill. Pretty cool.

2. The watermelon is cut by a guy wearing a football jersey. Also pretty cool.

3. He uses a Santoku knife. Most people would opt for a long-bladed slicing knife or a chef’s knife, but not him. The Santoku is a classy choice.

4. The finished product is a mouth-watering pile of watermelon wedges minus any rind.

5. The carver accomplishes the task in around a minute-and-a-half, which makes for a nice, two-minute video (some other video lessons were way too long).

I spent five years on a submarine when I was in the Navy, and although the cooks were forced to work with extremely limited resources, the food was actually pretty good. If I had one gripe about the grub, it would be that we never had watermelon. Apparently, watermelons take up a lot of room, and that’s a precious commodity on a nuclear submarine. Whatever.

I do remember enjoying watermelon when we’d pull into foreign ports. One of those ports was the city of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, home to “The House of Cakes Dubai,” which created the masterpiece shown above. That smooth icing stuff on the cake and on many other “fancy cakes” is called fondant. Fondant is a sugary, pie crust-like substance that’s laid over a regularly iced cake like a sheet. (When I helped my wife plan our wedding, I learned way more about cakes than I care to admit.)

The cake, which you can buy on the cakemaster’s website, carries a price tag of 600 dirhams, or roughly $160. That’s not too bad, considering you’d spend that much for breakfast at the Burj Khalifa.