What About Watermelon?

My 20-year high school reunion is creeping up on me, a constant reminder of how old I am. I don’t remember much about high school – another sign of old age, I guess – but I do remember the lunches. Pizza was always my favorite school lunch option. It was never great pizza (I wouldn’t even call it “good”), and the rectangular shape always confused me, but it was pizza, and when you’re a teenager, that’s all you really need.

Actually, teenagers also need a bunch of fruits and vegetables every day. I recently read in an article that Congress is attempting to classify school pizza as a vegetable. More specifically, they’re trying to count the thin layer of tomato paste on school pizza a serving of vegetables. The USDA disagrees with Congress’s nutritional reasoning, which has created a bit of a food fight between the two groups.

As of this morning, neither side had reached out to me to get The Watermelon Guy’s input on the issue. This oversight on their part is a shame because I’ve got the perfect solution: Get rid of the old school lunchroom pizza and replace it with watermelon pizza. That’s right, watermelon pizza.

There’s a recipe for watermelon pizza on the National Watermelon Promotion Board website. I think it’s a viable alternative to traditional pizza for three main reasons:

1. It’s a healthy option loaded with vitamins and nutrients.

2. It qualifies as a serving of fruit (thanks to the toppings) and as a vegetable (because that’s what watermelon technically is).

3. It looks a lot more like pizza than the current lunchroom pizza.

I’ve forwarded a link to this blog entry to my congressman, the USDA, and my high school’s head lunch lady, Helen. I’ll let you know if any or all of them respond (Helen and I were always close), or if I’m summoned to testify on the matter in front of a Senate subcommittee in the near future.