HOW TO PLAY GREASED WATERMELON POLO

August 6th, 2010 by The Watermelon Guy

Growing up in rural Pennsylvania, I was lucky (?) enough to witness and participate in all sorts of strange games and contests. One contest that I remember vividly was the annual greased pig catching contest at our local town fair each summer. The premise is simple: The first person to catch a thoroughly greased oinker (they’re hard enough to catch when they’re “clean”), gets to keep the pig. I never won the contest, and now that I think about it, I’m not really sure what I would have done with the pig if I did.

Which leads me to today’s entry. A friend of mine who, I think, loves watermelon almost as much as I do but isn’t ready to admit it, sent me a link to instructions for playing a summertime game called “greased watermelon polo.” The name alone was enough to pique my curiosity and convince me, even before I read the rules of the game, that I’d have to stage a greased watermelon polo tournament at my house by summer’s end.

Here’s how the game works:

Two teams enter a swimming pool. A referee drops a watermelon covered in vegetable oil or petroleum jelly into the center of the pool. The teams then kick, push or swim with the watermelon in an effort to get the watermelon to the opposing team’s side of the pool while the opposing team tries to do the same. Sort of like soccer, only in a pool… with a really slippery watermelon.

More detailed rules can be found here, but I’m thinking once that watermelon hits the water, all rational thought and pool etiquette go right out the window and mayhem sets in pretty quickly. Sounds like my kind of game. All I need now is a nice-sized backyard pool!

Below is a video of greased watermelon polo in action. It should be noted that the players in this video are violating a very important rule of the sport by lifting the watermelon out of the water and throwing it. My old age (mid-30s, thank you) is showing when I say this, but throwing a watermelon into a swarm of people seems pretty dangerous. That’s a definite technical foul for the polo player in the gray swim trunks.

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THE SECRET TO FARMVILLE: GROW WATERMELON!

March 18th, 2010 by The Watermelon Guy

farmvilleIf you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a farmer, FarmVille is the game for you. Actually, playing FarmVille is nothing like being a real life farmer, which is very hard work, so that’s probably why millions of people love playing the game.

FarmVille is played by Facebook users and basically allows people to build their own tiny virtual farms and plant crops, grow, and sell crops (using FarmVille coins) in order to buy more farm land, farm animals and other farm decorations. It sounds simple, but it’s also extremely addictive. Just ask one member of the National Watermelon Promotion Board, who wishes to remain anonymous, but swears that out of all the crops you can grow in FarmVille, watermelon is the easiest and most profitable.

Our anonymous FarmVille addict and watermelon-growing extraordinaire had this to say about the game and its most fruitful crop:

“The great thing about FarmVille watermelons is that they’re really versatile plants in terms of how they advance you through the game. Although they take four days to mature (which is a big advantage if you’re going to be busy for a few days – they take care of themselves), you get two experience points for each square you harvest, so they help you to level up more quickly.

You also make a profit of 118 coins on each square you harvest, so they’ll help you save up money to buy buildings, trees, and animals. And ripe watermelons look awesome,  especially when they’ve been fertilized by your FarmVille Neighbors, because they get huge!”

I have to admit, I’ve never played FarmVille, but I know a lot of people who have. I’m a little scared to play it because I get addicted to things very easily and I’m afraid that once I get started, I’ll be planting watermelon, corn, carrots, and turnips until the cows comes home (and beyond)!

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WATERMELON FOR YOUR PHONE!

January 28th, 2010 by The Watermelon Guy

I recently traded in my old phone for a new one, like any new phone owner, I can’t seem to put the darn thing down. I blame it on the fact that there are so many cool programs (aka “apps”) that you can download for it.

There are apps that tell you where the police are hiding to help you avoid getting a ticket, apps that help you find a good restaurant in your area, and even a “fake phone call” app that will call you at a time of your choosing to help you get out of a sticky situation. (I haven’t used it yet, but I’m sure I will.)  

And then there are the games. The many, many, many games. Some are free and some a buck or two, but nearly all of them are more addictive than a watermelon milk shake. Speaking of watermelon, there are a few games featuring my favorite fruit that I recently downloaded and have taken a liking to.

One is appropriately titled “Watermelon!” and it was released only a few days ago. For 99 cents you can download the game, which pits you against evil robots. Your only ammunition is watermelon rinds, which you create by eating watermelon and then throw the rinds at the robots to make them slip and eventually return them to the moon. It’s not a complicated game (most of the games aren’t), which is part of what makes it so fun.

I’m not sure if watermelon rinds would make a good weapon in a real life robot war (a high-powered seed shooter seems like a better choice), but they do the trick in this game. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some robots to fight.

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